Thursday, January 14, 2010

The world's biggest MISTAKE!

The Greatest thing the Devil ever did for himself, was to convince YOU that he didn't exist!!!!!!!

And the biggest mistake the world has ever made was falling for it!

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I celebrate Christmas because of the warm feelings it brings to your home, family, friends and neighbors. I celebrate Christmas more culturally, not at all for religious purposes or reasonings. Christmas is celebrated by Christians as a way to acknowledge the birth of Christ, Jesus, whom is believed by Christians to be our savior. First let me say that I firmly believe that Jesus is a prophet of God and that our almighty Lord has no partners. Let me also say that December 25th is not the birthday of Jesus, and Christmas is most definetly derived from Pagonism. Along with Halloween and Easter. Christmas trees, Santa Claus, and decorating your house with lights and reindeers, have absolutely nothing to do with Jesus or Christianity.

I celebrate Christmas the same as I celebrate Thanks Giving, to give thanks and remember all the many blessings of my life and all that I have. To spend time enjoying and loving my family, friends and neighbors. As an excuse to go all out for my children and to watch their faces light up as they reveal everything they have been wanting all year long. I decorate a Christmas tree because it is fun for me, its my own form of creativity, almost like my own work of art. And it's a family tradition, something I have always grown up doing, and something my kids inturn expect. Plus it looks so pretty in my house.YAY!

The above pictures are of all six of my children, my two girls and my four boys. Taylor is my oldest daughter, she is 11 years old. Mary, my youngest daughter is 9 years old. And the boys from oldest to youngest: Jason Jr. 13 years old, Julian 8 years old, Bradlely 6 years old and Christian 4 years old.

The Holidays!

I absolutely love Christmas. I enjoy decorating my Christmas tree, which this year I have to say, is Absolutely beautiful, so beautiful that it belongs in a magazine. I love making cookies for the kids to decorate with different colored frosting, making Christmas ornaments and spending time with family. The best part of Christmas for me is waking up early early Christmas morning with presents overflowing out from under the tree, reading the letter from Santa, that I wrote the night before and then watching as the kids tear into their new found treasures. I can't think of anything that compares.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

My Family, Religion and Me

There is a very wide range of diversity of religion and beliefs in just my immediate family alone. I don't think anyone could ever find a family more diverse in religion, cultures or ethnic backgrounds. In fact; when I share my family differences with outside acquaintances, it simply blows them away in disbelief. Families in the United States for the most part adopt the belief systems that they grew up with. If their mother and father were Christian followers, and church goers; they raise their children to be also. In turn their children as adults are Christian followers and it usually continues on this way.

This is the largest difference in my family verses the traditional family, or at least the majority of families that I have encountered throughout my lifetime, I should say. The members of my family abandoned their family roots of Christianity and sought out their own path toward righteousness. My mother has dipped and dapped in many religious directions in the past 10 or so years, concluding with her own mixture of beliefs, currently labeling herself a spiritualist. My father also in many ways led a more spiritual belief system, but still believing Jesus his Savior and Messiah. He is now studying to become a member of the Catholic Church. My oldest brother, Jonah was a non-believer in God and religion all together. He believed that religion was created as a form of government before government to frightened people from crimes against humanity in fear of the fiery depths of hell. He is now a follower of Islam and lives a Muslim lifestyle, changing his name to Yunus Hashim. My sister Alicia, married a Arab Muslim when she was very young and lived a more Muslim lifestyle, though never actually committing. She is now following the same path of spiritualism as my mother. My brother Daniel, is probably the most famous topic of religion in our family. He began studying religion and by personal enlightenment has converted to Islam, changing his name to Abdullah Muhammad Hashim. He lives his life and has given his life completely to his beliefs, and is the most devoted follower I have ever known. There is no one else I have ever known I respect more than my brother Abdullah. Although, I can't say this about the rest of my immediate family.

When my mother decided to start her journey of self discovery, she told my brother Abdullah that he should also find his own path of beliefs. She was very supportive when his path concluded with his conversion to Islam, until he completely gave his life to his religion and no longer supported her decisions and choices of lifestyle. I remember a time when she stated I am worried about your brother, I think he is going to far with all of this. I think she even had fears he would become a terrorist Muslim traditionalist. And I believe these same fears and concerns were shared by the majority of the family.

My brother came to me shortly after my family started showing concerns about his choices, and told me that he would be leaving the United States because he feared of his safety here. I didn't know exactly what he meant by that and I still really don't. I remember a statement something like, it is very dangerous here for Muslims and if he couldn't convince his own family that he wasn't a terrorist, how would he ever convince anyone else of this? He went on to tell me that he wanted to spend some time with me before he left, because, when he left he would be more or less dropping off the face of the planet.

A few years later, he did leave. And in a lot of ways he did drop off the face of the planet. Although he told us that he was going to England, we didn't know where and had no way of contacting him or knowing if he were okay. He called a few times and updated us a little, but we still didn't really know anything about what he was doing or what was going on with him. He even went years without any contact at all. To the point that we began to wonder if he were alive or dead. After four years of almost no contact and not seeing him, he decided to return to the U.S. for a visit. He was now a husband and a father to two of the most beautiful humans in existence. Two humans I have sadly never met.
I was so excited for my brother's return. I missed him so much and needed him more than anything. He was the closest thing to a father growing up that I had. And our relationship was one more like a father and daughter than sister and brother. And I yearned for the guidance of a father, the guidance I had only known from him. I was already an adult by time he returned, but I was struggling with many aspects of my life and felt that he were the only one that could really help me.
When I finally got to see Abdullah for the first time in more than four years, I was amazed. He was absolutely glowing with purity, and happiness. He looked so at peace with everything. And seemed as though nothing in the world could effect that. I was envious because my life seemed to be such a mess at the time. I wasn't even able to remember a time that I was truly happy. Happy the way it flowed from his pores.
During my brother's visit to the U.S. my oldest brother also converted to Islam and then changed his first name to Yunus and adopted Abdullah choice of Hashim for his last name. So in a sense Abdullah created his own family name to be passed on, how bizarre that will sound to many. My brother Yunus is now getting married and will being living in Hong Kong. My father is none to happy about this. And has disowned them both.

As for me and my beliefs:

Before ever knowing anything about the beliefs of Islam, I had a moment of truce. I volunteered to assist with feeding the homeless. All of us volunteers formed an Assembly line, where we gave each homeless person and item of food. The last person in the line handed out a prayer card to each person and stated "Jesus loves you." I remember having a huge problem with the statement. Why would you ever say Jesus Loves you? Wouldn't it make more sense to say God loves you? Or better yet God bless you even? I was very confused. Later, being more educated on the subject, I found the reasoning as to why that Christian follower chose those words. Christian believe that Jesus was the son of God their Savior. I also learned at that same time that Muslims believed differently, that Jesus was merely a prophet of God and did not die to wash away every ones sins. This is also the day I decided I believed as the Muslims believed.

Muhammad, the prophet of God said:
"Whoever testifies that there is none worthy of being worshiped but God, Who has no partner, and that Muhammad is his slave and Prophet, and that Jesus is the Slave of God, His Prophet, and His word, which He bestowed in Mary and a spirit created of Him; and that Paradise (Heaven) is true, and that the Hellfire is true, God will eventually admit him to Paradise, according to his deeds." (Saheeh Al-bukari)

I recited Shahada November of 2008

Shahada ( The Declaration of the Testimony)
Ashahdu "La ilah illa Allah,Wa Muhammad rasoolu Allah."

I bear witness "that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his Messenger."

Allah states in the Holy Quran:
"I did not send the Messenger before you without revealing to him: none has the right to be worshiped except I, therefore worship me." (Quran 21:25)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

One of Christian's Many Hillarious Moments! :)

Christian is the youngest of all my six children (My 3 birth children, and my 3 step-children). He is just 4 years old and absolutely amazing. Christian has the most awesome personality of anyone I know. And anyone who has ever had the benefit of meeting my son, can't help, but love him almost immediately. And boy can the boy make you laugh.

When my father comes over to visit, which is quite regularly these days, his favorite thing to do is pick on Christian. He is famous for getting Christian going and they end up arguing back and forth for long periods of time. It is quite amusing to witness, because the things Christian comes up with to say will just blow you away. Such a little person with such an elaborate vocabulary. This day is different though, my father, the usual istigator, was surprisingly inocent and sitting quietly at our kitchen table. When:
Christian began explaining to his step-father that he was hungry and that he needed to eat because Mommy (Me) never feeds him and he is just starved almost to death everyday. (mind you this is an example of his colorful imagination and is completely untrue, because I feed the kid more than most grown men consume in a day.) Jason then tells him that there is no way he could possibly be starving because "just look at yourself, you are fat." Christian always eager for a dispute responds with " you are the fat one, I mean just look at your belly" They both go back and forth telling each other to look at their stomachs. When out of no where Christian turns to my father and pauses, then says quote "Actually...........look at your belly!" It was Hillarious, my stomach started to cramp up and hurt from laughing uncontrolably. It was so fitting, because my father could compete with Santa Claus on belly size. LOL!!!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Conflicts with a Co-worker

I have been having many troubles at work lately, which is upsetting because I genuinely love what I do. I also, for the most part enjoy the people I work with and the facility I work for.

I am a Nurse Technician at Liberty Nursing here in Xenia. I assist elderly with activities of daily living, tasks they cannot perform on their own or need some assistance with such as: Walking, Dressing themselves, bathing, tying their shoes, eating, drinking, toileting, reading, brushing their teeth ect. I also work with them to regain their physical independence, so that they might one day go back to the normalcy of an everyday life in their own home. I evaluate their individual needs and current medical situations, help create a care plan or overall goal for their rehabilitation and chart on their daily progress. I also care for their minor medical needs and assist a more qualified medical professional with the more major medical needs that they process.
I find great rewards in making a difference in my patients lives and love caring for them. I have bonded with my patients and I have never found more joy and personal satisfaction in anything else I have ever done before. But lately I have had many conflicts with a co-worker I seem to always get stuck with working beside. At first I convinced myself to deal with the situation professionally and overlook her lack of intelligence, lack of time management and poor work ethics; which would have worked out great if it weren't for the fact that I had to work with this woman nearly everyday I was scheduled. On several occasions I an fellow co-workers followed our chain of command and reported the situation to the supervisor on duty, but the problems were never followed up on or passed on down the chain. It was basically ignored and her inability to perform her job and give the proper care to her patients remained. This was not only completely unfair and unjust to the people who had to pick up her slack, but was and is abusive to the defenseless elderly patients who rely on her. They deserve to get the very best care. I finally got so fed up with having to do her work for her and having to retrain her on the same tasks repetitively that I could no longer pretend the situation didn't exist. This day was an especially bad day. I decided that I wouldn't talk to her at all in fear of diarrhea of the mouth syndrome occurring.

I must have been giving off the negative tension that was boiling in my blood because she took notice almost immediately. This is when the woman decided she would throw me over the edge. She yelled at me in a Resident's room while giving care and kept walking by me making inappropriate snickers under her breath. Well, my personality or chemical make up, whatever you want to contribute it to would not allow that. I think maybe I have entirely to much of my father running through my veins because at some point during all of this my body took over. I absolutely lost it on this unsuspecting human. I can't even at this point remember the exact words said, but in short I let her know exactly how I felt and what I thought of her. To the point that I was mocking her and clapping my hands at her. I even made her cry. I guess the truth really does hurt at times. All I can say is she was asking for it. I don't know if the tears were from total shock that I stood up to her or if it was put on for our boss who happened to walk up in the middle of my explosion.